Wednesday, March 23, 2011
Blog 5: "Allegory of the cave"
In the passage " Allegory of the Cave" ased by the Greek philosopher Plato is an example of how the humans use to suffer by being prisioners their entire lives in caves without knowing how the real world was. They had their hands and feet with chains facing a wall and at the back of them it was fire. The only thing that the prisioners were able to see and hear was the shadows and echos of people and animals when they were crossing a little bridge that was between the prisionersw and the fire. Once a prisioner were released and able to see the real world but the light it was too much for him because he had been in the darknes his entire life. After that he went back inside to tell the other prisioners how the real world was but the prisioners never understand because what they hear were echos and what they saw were shadows, the same things that they had been seen for the rest of their lives.
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Hi Jesh87 at the beginning of your essay you start good but then you kind of repeat by paraphrasing in the last sentence of your essay. Also you are giving a lot of details you have to be go to the main point of the passage. Also you have some spelling errors. Next time be careful with your writing ok.
ReplyDeleteHi John:
ReplyDeleteBelow you will find my response for this blog series. This is not a grade, nor is it intended to be read as an evaluation of your performance in this class so far. The evaluation of the blog series may be found in Blackboard in the gradebook for this class and the grade is derived from a totally dofferent method as described in the syllabus. What you will see below is a response to your overall writing as of this blog series. The categories are from the CAT-W evaluation rubric (what the evaluator’s use). The comments below are intended to be both descriptive (what I see) and prescriptive (what you need to work on). I will be speaking with you personally about your current strengths and weakness during class. Please feel free to ask as many questions as you like about the following in class, during office hours, or in our FB groups.
Critical Response to Writing Task and Text: For this category, I look to see if you summarized effectively thereby demonstrating that you understood the reading/text, that you are actively engaging with the ideas of the text and responding in some way to them. For this category, you are fine but could still use some improvemement.
Development of Writer’s Ideas: This category responds to how well you use reasons to support your claim, how well you use evidence to support your reasons, and how well the reasons work together as a whole. For this category you need more work, particularly in your use of detail?
Structure of the Response: Is it an argument essay? Does it work well as a whole? This category is concerned with the overall structure of your writing--can I see that you had a plan and executed it well.
Sentences, Word Choice, Grammar, Usage, Mechanics: Is your wriitng clear and easy to read? That is what this category is all about. What issues need to be addressed now to improve the overall effect of your writing?
Overall: From this blog series I can see that you will need work in all of the categories, but first is overall development as your entries are short, short!